Colleen and Dan Seabrook Wedding

Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Vow writing is nothing to be daunted by! A few simple tricks and steps can help you find the perfect words to say to your loved one in front of your friends and family. Writing your own vows isn’t required, but its a great way to personalize your ceremony and the promises that you and your loved one will make as you start your life together. If you decide to write your own vows, start with these simple steps to get you on the right track to perfect vow writing!

Get on the same page. It’s important to start this process with a conversation between you and partner where you discuss the tone, formality, length and structure of your vows. If you are writing them separately, will you share them with each other beforehand? Keep in mind that some more traditional or religious ceremony spaces allow personal vows in lieu of traditional vows. Also, make a point to ask your officiant for some helpful tips or ideas!

Start with research. To get the ball rolling, the best thing to do is read as many other examples of wedding vows as you can find. Keep a running document of things you like and things you don’t – this will serve as a great starting point. Don’t be afraid to borrow phrases and quotes that speak to you and relate to your relationship – there’s no such thing as plagiarism in vow writing!

Put pen to paper. The hardest part is getting started! Start by writing down all of your ideas, thoughts and inspirations. If you are having a difficult time, ask yourself questions like, “Why do I love this person?” “What do I love most about them?” “When did I first realize that they were the one?” and “What does the vow of marriage mean to you?” Next, think of promises, both big and small, detailing the declarations of love and support that you will offer your future spouse.

Edit. Practice. Repeat. Find a friend or family that you trust to make edits and suggestions. Your first draft will never be your last, so take the time to practice reading your vows out loud to assess the clarity and length. The pros suggest that vows should be between one and two minutes. Once you feel comfortable with a final draft, keep practicing until you feel confident enough to look from your paper while reciting them, but keep a copy with you on the day of, just in case!

Photo by: C&I Photography


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